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Sunday, August 24th, 2003
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3:44 pm
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Ancient Egypt had plagues of locusts and frogs; Pine Valley has the plague that is Michael Cambias. An invasive pestilence with pretensions of being human, Michael attempts to corrupt and foul everything and everyone he touches. I think he is also attempting to counterfeit money in the extra bedroom in his condo. I cannot come up with any other way to explain how two weeks ago he was begging Dad for money so he could leave PV and this week he managed to buy controlling interest in both Fusion and Enchantment. Judging by the looks he got from the courtroom crowd he won’t be alive long enough to savor his triumphs. Although I certainly hope he is alive long enough to experience the coup de grâce Cambias-the-elder plans to deliver via his will.
Will Michael feel the noose tightening around his neck this week, and who will be doing the tightening? Let’s see:
Michael is released and will not be tried for raping Bianca.
No surprise there. He makes a much easier target roaming the streets of the Valley anyway. Let’s hope someone has the presence of mind to issue a restraining order so that he stops harassing Bianca.
The idea of Michael being set free causes Alex to have another heart attack.
Will this be the final one that makes Ryan a wealthy man and Michael a pauper?
Alex dies.
Yep, guess so.
David tells Bianca she is pregnant. He agrees to keep it a secret.
I hate that Bianca is pregnant, and it is going to take a lot of convincing to get me not to hate that she is pregnant.
Bianca is overwhelmed by the news. She thinks about all her options and is more confused than ever. She tells Maggie she is pregnant. Maggie insists they leave for Europe right away.
Maggie is giving Opal a little competition in the “best gal pal” category. Maggie is the best thing Frankie ever did for Bianca.
Kendall wants her sister to forgive her.
I am trying to figure out for what. Michael was coming to PV gunning for Erica and Enchantment no matter what. If Kendall had turned down his invitation for a drink, that would not have stopped him. If Michael had had to seduce Val to get the corporate secrets he would have. (Not that Val would have revealed them.)
Kendall saves Opal from drug dealers.
It has finally happened. PV’s demand for Botox has exceeded what Opal can obtain through legal channels. Opal was probably planning to mix up a “special” face mask for Michael. And when did Kendall morph into Wonder Woman?
Kendall decides to fly to Las Vegas just as Ryan decides to head to Pine Valley.
Well if Kendall takes the Pine Valley/Las Vegas Concorde shuttle she should be in LV before Ryan’s elevator reaches the lobby.
Aiden and Mia break into Michael’s condo.
Why does he even bother to lock the door?
Michael gains controlling interest of Chandler Enterprises. He gloats about owning Fusion.
Enjoy it while you can Blondie, because your days are clearly numbered:
Jack steals a gun from the PVPD evidence room. A woman later steals it from Jack. Kendall vows to avenge Bianca. Adam and Palmer work on the their plan to get rid of Michael. Ryan’s anger towards Michael grows. Myrtle and Boyd get the Uzi down from the attic.
What can I say? She has it left over from her carnie days.
Other stuff happens, too:
Jack’s family gets bigger.
Turns out Boyd is Jack’s son from a little fling he had in Quebec years ago. (C’mon, has no one noticed Boyd’s Quebeçois accent?) I made this up just because I want Boyd to have a storyline. So shoot me. After you shoot Michael of course. Does Reggie’s relationship with Jack become finalized? Does Greenlee change her name to Greenlee Montgomery Dupres?
Woody’s announcement cuts Mary off at the knees, or should I say, bank account.
Well it is about time Greenlee’s grandfather chimed in on all of this. I wish he was around more. I bet Greenlee does, too. I want some scenes with Woody and Jackson doing that upperclass mano-to-upperclass mano thing. With Reggie chiming in of course.
Mary is now desperate for Greenlee’s trust fund and will do anything to get it, even lie.
Mary lie? How absolutely out of character.
The Fusion babes find out Carlos and Juan Pablo are brothers.
I don’t know if Mom always liked Juan Pablo best, but I sure do.
Those AMC actors:
As mentioned above John Carter returns this week as Woody Greenlee.
Friday’s episode was a relief wasn’t it? An entire episode without one mention of the Sexiest Man in America contest. I kept expecting the bailiff to turn to the judge and ask,” Well, your Honor have you voted yet in Fusion’s Sexiest Man in America contest? “
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, May 18th, 2003
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4:57 pm
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This past week was definitely family week on AMC. Maria remembered her motherly feelings towards Maddie. Cambias-the-Elder showed up to put baby Cambias in his place. As Tad mourned the loss of Dixie and Kate, lots of people with casseroles reminded him he still had family that loved him. Erica and Kendall continued their pattern of taking three steps towards each other and then two steps back. Which is an improvement over when they used to take three steps towards each other and then four steps back. Jackson was reunited with his foster son Reggie. And Erica had the surprising news that Jack and Reggie are a package deal. Tad remembered Petey was his brother. Now if only someone would remember to let Sammy out of the Wildwind attic……
Any familial doings this week? Let’s see:
Maddie tells Flanders where she is hiding.
Why didn’t Aiden duct tape her mouth shut? I would have done it months ago.
Flanders arrives on the libidizone launch. He knocks Aiden unconscious. Maddie goes overboard. Maria jumps into the water to save Maddie. The boat explodes.
That boat was cursed anyway. The libidizone party happened there. www.incredibleidiots.com failed there. That’s where Adam caught Liza in bed with Ryan. Gillian had sex with Jake and Ryan on the same night there. (OK, so the boat has seen some good times, but it still bothers me that Gillian did not change the sheets or shower between partners. Yuck)
Is Aiden dead?
We can only hope. And only wish Carlos had been on the boat, too. Maybe Aiden will come back with amnesia and not remember Maureen. And not remember he is British. Carlos then approaches him at SOS and asks him about his spotted dick. Not remembering it is a pudding, Aiden is highly insulted. He punches Carlos, who passes out. When he comes to, Carlos has amnesia. He forgets he works at Fusion. He forgets he lives in Pine Valley. He sets out to discover himself, never to be seen again. Sigh. They really should have hired me as head writer, don’t you think?
As Maureen dives into the water to save Maddie, her memories come flooding back to her in tidal wave of emotion. Maureen is swept away as Maria resurfaces.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist the hyperbole. She remembers everything about being Maria. However, what with the explosion and all, the timing is not right to tell Eddie. (And why interrupt him when he is back at Wildwind knocking Mia up?)
And on the industrial wars front:
At the press conference Erica lulls Michael into thinking she has accepted defeat graciously. She then sucker punches him by publicly announcing that Michael stole Boyd’s formula.
Erica on top is always fun. Just ask Jackson.
Michael is arrested. Cambias-the-Elder rewards Erica with Michael’s place on the Board of Directors.
Having a bad day Michael? I suspect the Elder has plans for Ms. Kane. Perhaps personal, but also business plans. After all, isn’t she on the board of Cortlandt Electronics? And probably owns a bunch of Chandler Enterprise stock, too.
Other stuff happens, too:
Anna and David get bad news. David gives Anna the go ahead for surgery.
Do these two ever get good news?
Bianca is surprised when Jack discovers Lena was telling the truth. Lena asks Bianca to forgive her.
Of course she will not forgive her this week. Where would the fun be in that?
Henry agrees to cop to the cheating charge, but only if Maggie agrees to marry him.
Who knew Henry was such a romantic? Maggie has been let down by Henry. Lena has betrayed Bianca. Most of us can see the handwriting on the wall, why can’t TPTB?
Simone has another great plan for Fusion.
And I have a great plan to FF’d this if it lands her jail. Again.
The “surprising character return” is supposed to surprise us this week.
Since Jake does not return til June, I still think we are supposed to be surprised that it’s Maria. Or maybe Chris crawls out of the woods. Or Sammy comes down from the attic….
Those AMC actors:
J.Eddie Peck returns as Jake for two episodes starting June 9th. I want to thank the poster who gave us the heads up about this last week. And I agree JEP looks great in a towel.
Is he there just to pick up his mail? Or to make an announcement?
Carolyn, played by Amanda Hall Rogers, arrives in town the same day as Jake.
Could she be the third Mrs. Joseph Martin II?
Lena’s mom shows up in the Valley on May 19th. She is being played by Elizabeth Shephard.
Eve Plumb returns as June Landau.
No offense to Ms.Plumb, but every time her character appears it makes me miss Donald Steele. He is much more deliciously fun than June.
OK, anyone else hope that during his brief stay in PV, Jake is “crutched” by Mia? (As she showed us this week, in the right hands crutches can be almost fatal weapons.)
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, May 11th, 2003
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4:44 pm
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Violence reigned supreme on AMC last week. Jackson had surgery. “Mad Dog” Maddie Grey went into shock and was almost “pillowed” to death. And Bianca slapped Kendall hard enough to almost make her “Fusion Eyes” spin. Oh yeah, and Chris got shot. Then his body was dragged off somewhere (hopefully to a more fully developed role on another show). TPTB did miss one opportunity for violence: who would have blamed Maggie had she taken her guitar strap gift and strangled Henry with it? Not me, that’s for sure.
All this violence made Pine Valley Hospital the happening place to be this past week. Let’s see what will be happening and where this week on AMC:
Erica and Jack breakfast at the Valley Inn.
Pine Valley-ites get the best medical care in the universe. Last week Jackson was near death and this week he is breaking croissants with Ms. Kane at the Inn.
Erica will need nourishment as her plan to bring down Michael moves forward:
Jack joins Erica, Kendall, and Boyd in the plot against Michael. Bianca decides to join them.
As the DA I would think Jackson would have more pressing issues. Such as finding the person who shot him and then tried to kill Maddie. But then this is PV where we cannot let a little thing like law enforcement interfere with Erica’s needs and desires, can we? Not if we really really love her.
Michael questions Kendall about the kiss she gave Boyd.
You mean the kiss Michael saw while lurking in the forsythia outside Myrt’s boarding house? It difficult for me to believe Michael as a powerful corporate raider when he threatens women and lurks in flowering bushes.
And now I have a confession to make: Each time I go to type “Boyd”, I type “Body” instead. Hmmm….
Kendall sneaks into Michael’s condo and hacks into his computer. Michael catches her.
I wish Kendall had called me for advice before doing this. Whenever I break into a man’s condo for hacking purposes, I am always naked with a rose between my teeth. Distracts them totally from asking what the heck I am doing in their condo, hacking into their computer.
(I am going to pause here while I have a little fantasy about breaking into Body’s, I mean Boyd’s room at Myrtle’s and hacking into his computer. Naked with a rose of course.)
Erica thinks she has beaten Michael at his own game, but Kendall is not so sure.
Oh this should be good. Kendall disagreeing with Erica. At least I hope it’s good and Erica does not deal Kendall another “rapist’s eyes” low blow.
Lena confesses all to Bianca.
This spoiler must be a mistake. Shouldn’t Lena’s duplicity be dragged out for months and months? I am not complaining, as I want to see these two kids work it out. Is it too much to hope that Binks apologizes to her sister for the slap? Yeah, probably. Bianca will undoubtedly forgive Lena before she forgives Kendall.
Other stuff happens, too:
Maria, Maddie and Aiden go into hiding.
I just knew that last week’s spoiler “Maria, Maddie and Edmund” go into hiding made too much sense.
Edmund catches a clue and realizes that if Evan is going after people important to him, Mia could be in danger. She certainly is when Evan threatens her life.
Damn, why doesn’t Evan realize how important Isabella is to Edmund? Rescuing Mia will certainly bring Edmund closer to falling in love with her.
Maureen accepts Aiden’s engagement ring.
Maureen is engaged. Edmund is falling hard for Mia.Yep, about time for Isabella's favorite daughter to return.
Greenlee is very grateful when Simone’s Fusion efforts pay off.
Please, please let her be so grateful that she hands Carlos over to Simone. That’s the kind of company perk Simone would appreciate far more than stock options.
Tad deals with the anniversary of Dixie’s and Kate’s death.
If MEK is in his groove, this could be heart wrenching. I would really love a scene with Palmer and Tad talking about Dixie. Those two men have never gotten along, but neither one can deny the other had a powerful love for Ms.Cooney.
And coming up very soon:
A surprise return shakes things up in the Valley!
Ryan comes back for his father’s funeral? That would be great but seems doubtful. Roger Smythe comes back from the witness protection program? That would make my year, but seems truly doubtful. I think the return is Maria. Why? Because everyone, including Edmund and most fans, gave up hope long ago (during last November’s sweeps for me) that Dr Santos Grey would ever come back.
Those AMC actors:
Lee Merriweather returns, briefly, as Ruth tries to help Tad on the anniversary of Dixie’s death.
OK, so Ms. Merriweather is not Tad’s real mother; that’s Mary Fickett. Still it is nice to see Tad getting comfort from his family. Will Jake remember to call?
Michael’s father, Alexander Cambias, hits town on May 15th. Cambias the Elder is played by Ronald Guttman.
Let him be a worthy foe to Adam and, hopefully, Palmer. (I think Enchantment is only the tip of the PV iceberg for Cambias Industries.) And please let us never witness him lurking in the bushes.
AMC casting is looking for a gorgeous Hispanic male to play Pablo.
Word on the street is that this is really a recast for Carlos. I would feel better if they were looking for “an Hispanic male with acting abilities” to play Pablo.
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, May 4th, 2003
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6:31 pm
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First things first. I want to thank Katrina for stepping in and doing this column last week. My father is sick and we had to make a quick trip to Amarillo for a visit. My father is a long time soap viewer. How much of a fan is he? Let me just say this: when Walt Willey showed up as AMC’s Jackson, my father said, “Wasn’t he the fourth actor to play Joe Novak on Ryan’s Hope?” Obviously minds full of trivia run in the family.
This past week Jack caught a bullet and just maybe the woman of his dreams. Let’s see what’s ahead for Jack et al this coming week.
Jackson proposes to Erica.
Due to his major blood lose, we can let it slide that Jackson already proposed and she refused. Or is this short-term amnesia part of the possible brain damage Joe warned Erica about? If she accepts I have my doubts as to whether they will make it all the way to the altar. Although it would be fun to see Erica, Jack, Lily, Bianca, Kendall and Reggie sitting down to a holiday dinner. Hey, maybe Trey could get a special pass from prison to join them. What fun!
Chris goes hunting for Evan with dire consequences. As a result, Chris says goodbye to PV.
It’s a sad sad day when a rogue FBI agent cannot hire a decent hitman. A hitman who will follow orders. Or at the very least, one who will check his cellphone for messages.
Mia and Edmund take Maddie on a picnic. All goes well until Maddie sees Evan shoot Chris.
Man, that Mia. First she lies to Maddie and now she puts her life in danger. At least that’s how I think the increasingly hypocritical Maureen will see it.
Evan tries to shut Maddie up.
Poor Evan. That kid has such a mouth on her even a professional hitman won’t be able to accomplish that task.
Edmund and Maria agree to work together to protect Maddie. Eddie asks Aiden to help them.
Maddie will be heaven! Being sick did not unite her parents, but being stalked by a killer might do the trick. Especially coupled with Maria’s memory returning. At least it better return this month. If I have to wait til November sweeps, I may forget that Maria has memories to remember.
Would Eddie have been so quick to ask Aiden for his help if he knew that
Aiden asked Maureen to marry him.
Asking an amnesiac to marry you doesn’t seem to be the brightest decision. But then when he looks at Maureen, Aiden’s brain does turn to figgy pudding. (Admit it, you thought it would be a spotted dick joke.)
Mia faces danger.
Isabella shows up at her loft?
Shootings and running from a hitman are not the only intrigue going on in the Valley:
Erica and Kendall join forces to bring Michael down. Boyd joins the mother/daughter team.
Erica and Kendall are so thin I guess Boyd’s white horse can carry all three of them into battle. I have to confess that I don’t find Michael very scary. I am not sure why. Maybe because his plans seem silly. Maybe because he works for his father. And maybe because a man who has to manipulate/threaten women to achieve his objectives seems inherently weak to me.
Bianca is suspicious of Erica’s and Kendall’s partnership.
Suspicious? Or jealous?
Bianca is very suspicious when she sees Michael leave Lena’s room.
Binky maybe you should have run off to Prague with Lena. Gay or straight, the course of true love never runs smooth in the Valley.
Other stuff happens, too:
Their Fusion work lands Simone and Carlos in jail.
Is anybody else as tired as I am of seeing Simone in jail? This one note joke has worn out its welcome. Or maybe Fusion should choose a pair of handcuffs as their company logo?
Maggie is accused of cheating on the O-chem exam. She asks Henry to prove his love.
And here I thought TPTB had forgotten about this fascinating plot development. I am pretty sure Maggie isn’t asking Henry to write her a love song, but to cop to his part in the cheating. At least I hope that’s it. If Maggie asks Henry to let her take all the heat for this, for the first time in years I will be ff’d an AMC story. After I get done vomiting of course.
Reggie tells Joni how his brother died.
I like Reggie, if only because he feels his lines instead of just saying them. And this storyline has made Joni much more tolerable. Now let’s see if her friendship with Reggie can make her more tolerant.
Those AMC actors:
May 8th will be Jack Scalia’s last day for stamping around PV.
I think Chris could have been much more than TPTB let him. Unfortunately Mr. Scalia fell victim to what happens often on soaps: Chris was created by one writing team, only to have the next writing team have no interest in his character.
Speaking of writers
Megan McTavish returns as AMC’s headwriter.
I am trying to be optimistic here. I really am. It’s not working. If anyone can remind me of some good things she wrote during her last tenure that would be very helpful. Unfortunately, all I can think of is the regrettable Kit Fisher character and Mateo’s never-before-mentioned first marriage.
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, April 20th, 2003
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5:48 pm
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When I am wrong, I admit it. Last week I suggested that Joe was a tango expert. Turns out I was wrong. He dazzles the ladies with the macarena. Not to mention tequila shots. Joe is a man of many mysteries.
Turns out Pine Valley is a town of mysteries. The weather for one thing. Erica was chasing after Jack in rain of hurricane proportions. Yet at the same moment, Greens arrived back at Fusion completely dry. But Myrtle got soaked. Jack’s hair got wet, but Erica’s really didn’t.
And the mystery of Sammy Grey continues. I could have sworn Edmund had a young son living at Wildwind. Yet when Liza invited Maddie for a sleepover, suddenly Mia and Edmund were left alone for the night. Why all this concern over Maria’s lost memories, yet no concern over their lost son?
One PV mystery will be solved this week. The Case of the Sexless Lesbians will be solved. Turns out it is possible for a lesbian to live in Pine Valley and experience romance:
Bianca and Lena kiss.
I am pausing here for a moment to enjoy the sound of hell freezing over. What a satisfying sound that is. It is beyond time for gay characters’ sex lives to be treated the same as straight characters’ sex lives are.
Which means, of course, that true love will not run any smoother for Bianca than it does for her fellow PV citizens:
Lena’s words break Bianca’s heart.
Poor Binky. Viewers will take this better than Bianca does when we learn the reasons behind Lena’s harsh words:
Lena defies Michael by refusing to use Bianca to get Boyd’s formula. As a result, Michael threatens Lena.
Breaking someone’s heart in order to protect them always seems dubious to me. But I guess Lena telling Michael that his plan is the dumbest thing she ever heard wouldn’t make Michael feel any kinder towards Lena, would it?
Let’s pause for another moment while we wonder about Lena’s resume. Under employment experience does it read: Vice President, International Finance, Enchantment Cosmetics; Company Whore, Cambias Enterprises?
Tad’s employment situation looks both up and down this week:
Liza hires Tad to investigate the lawsuit against Fusion.
I would think that Kenny’s law firm would be doing that, but I guess they cannot think of anything else to do with Tad. Which is too bad, because I can think of lots of things to do with Tad.
Tad gets fired.
I am assuming Liza doesn’t fire him so quickly. Does Tad have another job he loses? Is he still working at Chandler Industries? It’s been so long since we’ve seen Tad go to work and even longer since anything at Chandler Industries made sense that I am confused. Or maybe I have just had too many tequila shots with Joe.
Tad finds a paper trail that leads back to Erica. Lena offers to track the money trail that leads to the paper trail.
Boyd then offers to track Lena while she tracks the money trail that leads to the paper trail. Simone, in heat, follows Boyd while he tracks Lena while she tracks the money trail that leads to the paper trail that Tad tracked down that lead to Erica. Hey, my scenario may sound silly but not as silly as Michael’s original plan which started this mess which lead to Liza hiring Tad to track the paper trail which lead ……
Lena isn’t the only woman causing the Cambias heir problems:
Kendall lets Michael know she is royally pissed at him.
I doubt she actually says, “royally pissed”, but who could blame her if she did? I am just glad to see Kendall getting at least part of her brain back. I would be even happier to see a scene with Kendall and Bianca hanging together at SOS, commiserating over their rotten luck with love.
Other stuff happens, too:
Carlos gets love advice from Marion and Stuart.
I am so happy to see Jennifer Bassey and David Canary in the spoilers that I don’t even care that they are sharing a scene with Carlos. I may care after I see it, but right now I don’t.
Henry tells his mother to stay out of his life.
Will we hear this in English or see it in subtitles?
I think Alma, Isabella and Carlotta from OLTL should have a little on camera bitchfest where they complain about their ungrateful children. And then talk about how hot they think Joe Martin is. Carlotta will insist that Llanview’s Dr. Larry is hotter, and who am I to disagree?
Erica tells Chris that she and Jackson no longer have any kind of relationship. Chris realizes perhaps he was a bit hasty in putting a hit out on Jack.
Let’s start the "how does Chris die?" pool now. Does Chris die taking the hitman’s bullet meant for Jack? Probably. But not before every resident of Pine Valley becomes a suspect. I hope we at least get a Derrick sighting out of this “ murder mystery.”
Leora gets a fever, putting more pressure on Anna and David.
I am loving the role reversal with Anna and David. David as the harried caretaker who is so busy taking care of the baby he has not had time to shower. And Anna wanting a night out and “maybe even some sex when we get home.”
Those AMC actors:
Eden Riegel (Bianca) and Olga Sosnouska (Lena) appear on The View this Monday, April 21. (If you miss it on ABC, check your cable listings for re-runs of The View on A&E.)Monica Lewinsky is the celebrity co-host that day and they will be discussing “real life hot topics.”
Eden and Olga will discuss being the actresses involved in a controversial and highly publicized storyline as their real life hot topic. I guess Ms. Lewinsky will be discussing her career transition from sword swallower to hand bag designer.
AMC presenters at the Daytime Emmys will be Susan Lucci, Rebecca Budig, Alicia Minshew, and Maximillan Alexander.
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, April 13th, 2003
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4:50 pm
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There were proposals aplenty in Pine Valley this week. Jackson proposed marriage to Erica. Mia proposed to Edmund that they stop seeing each other. Edmund countered with a proposal that they kiss. Brooke proposed that Edmund keep his trap shut about his personal life. Aiden proposed a repast featuring the usual spotted dick. Maureen countered his proposal with a snog in the boathouse. Kendall has yet to catch on to exactly what Michael is proposing. And my dear Myrtle made the least likely proposal of all. No, not that Erica actually eat beef stew, but that she be honest with herself.
Let’s see what TPTB are proposing for us this week on AMC:
Maddie becomes distraught when Edmund takes Mia to the Wildwind chapel. Mia and Edmund have sex.
I am hoping that these spoilers are not related. After all, you do not have sex in the chapel at Wildwind; that’s what the mausoleum is for! I am a bit concerned no one is distraught that Sammy seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth. Sammy should be a key player in this story since he would have actual memories of Maria as mommy. Peggy has been missing, too. I guess at Wildwind it’s “off of contract, out of mind”.
Her time with Leora reminds Maureen of her time with an infant Maddie.
Yes, changing diapers will cause all sorts of things to come to mind. Most of them not pleasant. Of course I do not think it is time with Leora that is causing Maureen to regain her memories. It’s the combination of Edmund falling for Mia and the looming of May sweeps.
David gives Edmund some answers to his questions about Maria and Maureen.
Does David tell Edmund that yes, Maureen is a real tigress in bed? Or is it more of the “she is happy as Maureen and she may never be Maria again” talk? And whatever happened to David’s research into an antidote? Hardly seems like Edmund got his money’s worth there.
David is PV's answer man this coming week:
Greenlee is haunted by Leo and turns to David for help.
I am haunted by Leo, too. Mostly while struggling to see any signs of chemistry between Carlos and Greens. I am looking forward to these scenes, since Greenlee and David do have chemistry. Emotional, if not sexual. I wonder if they will mention that Trey is in prison? I wonder if they even know he is in prison?
Trey’s sister is not going to have an easy week:
Greenlee thinks Michael is using SwampGirl. Kendall realizes that Michael expects her to have sex with Boyd. Kendall starts to dissemble.
I would start to dissemble, too, if my boyfriend wanted to pimp me out. Say what you want about Billy Clyde Tuggle. He made it no secret that he was a pimp. If I were Kendall I would hock those SwampGirl necklace diamonds and use the cash to bail out Fusion. After kicking Michael out of my bed and out of my life.
And what about the real proposal we saw last week?
Erica proposes to Jack that they stay just friends. Jackson, not surprisingly, says “no.”
I had long hoped for a Jackson/Erica reunion but in my mind it was much more romantic than it has turned out to be. I had hoped for the scales to fall from Erica’s eyes and for her to see Jack was meant to be her life partner. (Or as close to a life partner as Erica is going to get.) I did not imagine this playing out the way it has, with everyone in town browbeating Erica to chose Jack. I don’t know, maybe TPTB did it this way so we would never hope for them to be together again. But wait a minute, that would be so cynical of me to think that…
Other stuff happens, too:
Myrtle sets out to protect Bianca.
I love this. I don’t even know what this means and I love it. More Myrt is always good. Can we hope for a bitch fight between Myrtle and Lena? Despite the age difference my money would be on the former carny girl. Maybe Myrtle will lock Lena in the Martin attic, where Bobby’s skeleton can keep her company.
Tad is more than a bit surprised to find out that his dad is friends with Lysistrata.
I am loving this little soap called “Joe’s Secret Life.” First we find out he has been eating Szechwan chinese food for years. Now we discover his relationship with free spirit Lysistrata. What’s next? That in his spare time he competes in semi-professional tango competitions? More Joe? Bring it on, baby, bring it on.
Those AMC actors:
They are looking for an actor to play Michael’s father, Alexander Cambias.
Rumors are swirling on the Internet that it could be Charles Keating. That would be fun since he does evil and save so well. Those are just rumors, though. We shall see. But I want to go on record here as saying no matter how dastardly Alexander turns out to be. No matter how awful a father he has been to Michael. None of that excuses the way Michael has treated Kendall. And how much do we want to bet that Alexander will be the next man in LaKane’s life?
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, April 6th, 2003
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9:05 pm
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Not a spoiler since it’s news that already happened but, major congratulations to Rebecca Budig for winning the Soap Opera Digest Award for Outstanding Younger Lead Actress. A well deserved win. Here’s hoping it’s a sweep and she takes home the Emmy,.too.
Congrats to Susan Lucci, too. She was given SOD’s first Diamond Award for Career Excellence. And she deserved it. Over the years, she has proven to be a great ambassador for soaps. Even people who don’t watch soaps know who Erica Kane is. She is always proud of what she does. She never apologies for being a soap actress. When she was cast as Erica, it was one of those perfect synergistic moments between actress and character.
That said, I do wish Erica would follow Greenlee’s lead and get some serious therapy.
And while I am wishing, can Carlos get some dance lessons, please? I fear for Greenlee’s toes!
Let’s see what’s up for these two ladies and their cohorts this coming week:
Erica’s TV interview does not go well. Does not go well at all.
Oh, dear. I guess the interviewer did not get the memo about worshipping at the altar of Erica Kane. Who will Erica blame for this? My guess is Jackson, with just a little left over for Kendall.
Jack presses Erica to make a decision. Opal advises both Jack and Erica about their relationship.
I wouldn’t mind a body press with Jackson. I do not imagine this is going to go well. When will Jackson learn that cornering Erica never gets you what you want? More Opal scenes will be nice, though I doubt either of them will listen to her. And can we get Opal a storyline of her own, please? What happened to her boy toy from the Fusion party?
Myrtle also gives Erica advice.
I am trying to remember if Erica has ever taken anyone’s advice? I love seeing Myrtle. Everyone should have a Myrtle they can turn to in time of crisis. Geesh, not only does Erica get all the great men in Pine Valley, but she also gets the best friends, too.
It turns out hell hath no fury like a G-man scorned when
Chris tries to murder Michael. Then he moves on to seek vengeance on Jackson.
Chris Stamp: Federal Agent, chauffeur, gourmet cook, lawyer, architect, and homicidal maniac? What is with the recent need to destroy characters before they leave AMC? Jake as a horndog having sex in the supply closet. Now Chris is suddenly out of control. Wouldn’t the Chris we have known punch Jack, and then set off to find Ryan? And what did Michael do, expect let Chris think he and Erica were having an affair? I know. I know. This is all to make as many PV residents as possible suspects in his upcoming murder. I wouldn’t be surprised to find the police putting Chris’ bookie, Petey Cortlandt, on the suspect list. And I really won’t be surprised when the murderer turns out to be someone from Chris’ past we have never heard of.
I do think people will be lining up to kill Michael and who could blame them?
Michael is behind the fraudulent lawsuit against Fusion. He continues to use Kendall to get what he wants, besides the great sex, of course.
Does Michael’s plan seem unnecessarily complicated to anyone else? And, well, just downright silly? Makes me miss the days of corporate intrigue between Chandler Enterprises and Cortlandt Electronics. Now there was a battle between Titans.
Boyd grows more suspicious about Lena.
I like Boyd more and more. He is no dummy. Which makes Michael’s plan seem even sillier. Have I mentioned that I think Michael’s plan is silly?
Other stuff happens,too:
Brooke catches Jamie with his new “friend.” Holly tells Laurie and Joni about her date with Jamie.
Man, it such a bummer when your mother catches you with your hooker. Even more of a bummer when your hooker cannot keep her mouth shut around the other women in your life. Guess Holly hasn’t gotten to the chapter on discretion in the Guide to Professional Hooking.
Maria shares her frustrations with Joe.
I like this friendship. I like it so much I am not even going to make a" sexual frustrations?" joke about this spoiler. Being friends with Joe seems to be the one truly grounded thing Maureen has done since coming to Pine Valley.
Liza advises Greenlee to pursue a relationship with Carlos. Will she?
First of all, any relationship advice from Liza should be taken with a pound of salt. I wonder if she will tell Greens she should have a relationship with Carlos for “Colby’s sake”? And I am worried about Greens. Why does she keep falling for men who cannot dance?
Those AMC actors:
AMC is casting Wayne, an Afro-American male teen with a troubled past. David will take a somewhat paternal interest in him.
I am extremely glad to see AMC adding more minority characters to the cast. Hey, but here’s a novel idea, how about casting an Afro-American family? Just a thought.
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, March 30th, 2003
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6:19 pm
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It was a hard viewing week for this AMC viewer. Not because of the interruptions/pre-emptions for war coverage, but because I realized Pine Valley is not as perfect as I had imagined. First of all, they have people who don’t cover their faces when they sneeze! Second, they have incredibly difficult computer equipment-so complicated it takes two scantily clad women and one scantily clad handyman to replace the toner cartridge. And three, Pine Valley does not have a Chuck E. Cheese. Why else would little Colby’s friend be having a birthday party in a restaurant with a bar?
I hope the coming week restores my belief that Pine Valley is an ideal place to live.
A hooker befriends Jamie.
Donna Beck Tyler is back in town? Why didn’t anybody tell me? Unfortunately, it turns out to be one of Simone’s former cellmates. Fortunately, it isn’t Chicken Alfredo or Rosemary Chicken or whatever the transvestite’s name was. Not that I have anything against transvestites, I used to work with some lovely ones; it’s just that a young man’s introduction to the services a prostitute offers should be less, ummmm, confusing than the ones Rosemary Chicken would offer. (And riddle me this, did someone at AMC actually get paid for coming up with the name Rosemary Chicken?)
Tad and Jamie have a little father/son chat.
I certainly hope so, given the previous spoiler. Please tell me it will be about responsibility and condoms and not about tipping etiquette. Not that Tad would know anything about that. I am sure no Martin man has had to resort to professional services.
And now to the relationships of the nonprofessional sort:
Jack decides he will do anything to win Erica back. Jack fears Chris’ anger
This puzzles me. What happened to “I love you Jack, with everything that I am”? I guess in Erica -speak that means something different than in English. Something like, “I love you but why should that interfere with my marrying Chris?” And, Jack, if you are going to bed a man’s fiancée, you need to expect a little anger/rage in return.
</i></b>Greenlee apologizes to Carlos. Carlos asks her to keep an open mind.</i></b>
I kind of like this romance, but it is Greens that is making it work for me. Carlos is good looking but not very interesting so far. There seems to be no “there” there. Not because he doesn’t speak English, but because the only true emotion he has shown is when he called her a raving bitch. Experience has taught me if the only time a man shows emotion is when he is angry, the woman should be showing him the door.
Those Fusion babes are into asking for forgiveness this week:
Kendall asks Boyd for two things: to forgive her and to stay out of her personal life.
Will Michael be disappointed she didn’t ask for three things, the third being the miracle formula locked in his brain? Will Kendall regret asking Boyd to stay away once she figures out Michael’s agenda? I for one am hoping Boyd does ride in on his white horse to rescue her. Boyd seems like the kind of man whose inner swashbuckler is dying to be released. Maybe he should go see Jamie’s new friend about that.
And over at Wildwind:
Edmund and Mia kiss.
Yeah, well, whatever. This sudden attraction does not make much sense, but it makes more sense than anything that has happened with Mia over the past year. And anything that stands in the way of Brooke deciding she wants Eddie’s emotional sloppy seconds is OK with me.
Maureen searches for answers.
Wouldn’t that have been more helpful before she took the O-Chem midterm? Probably this means she will be trying to figure out the cause of Maddie’s mysterious stomach ache. Is this what brings her memory back? How long is it ‘til May?
Maureen and Aiden move into Wildwind to help care for Maddie. Isabella is not happy about this.
One thing about Isabella, she does not suffer in silence. The guilt will be flying. Will more of it stick to Aiden or to Maureen? And wait ‘til Isabella finds out that Edmund kissed Mia. With a sick child to wield as a weapon Isabella will be a sight to behold.
And in the cabin in the woods:
Anna tells David he needs help in dealing with his obsession over Leora.
Well, that should go over well. I wonder if David will have a session with Zeke McMillan? Is there a room at PVH large enough to hold both their egos? How long before they start playing the “mine is bigger than yours” game? Minds out of the gutter, please. I was referring, of course, to their CVs.
Those AMC actors:
Andrea Anders returns as working girl Holly, Jamie’s new “friend.”
Michael Jordan, Reggie, has been signed to a contract.
I like his interactions with Jackson. I just wish we had one or two scenes with Janelle to show how much he values her. It would make turning in Trey a little more palatable. Not that I mind having Trey in prison, but a reinforcing of Reggie’s motivation would be good.
Spoilers are a little light this week, because even without news pre-emptions, we will only be seeing 4 episodes of AMC. A special anniversary edition of GH is taking over the AMC slot on Wednesday. Look at it as a chance to see Skye Chandler, oops, Quatermaine in action.
Here’s to another week in the Valley.
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, March 23rd, 2003
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5:23 pm
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We did not even see a whole week’s worth of episodes. Yet we learned a lot on AMC this week. We learned that Adam can throw a punch and Tad can take it. We learned that Mia doesn’t just know how to ride Jake, she can ride horses, too! We learned that Chris is a truly nasty drunk. We learned that PV has a Chinese restaurant and that Joe, who likes his food hot, has been going there for years. The scenes at the restaurant taught us that racial stereotyping is alive and well on AMC. And we learned that Carlos and Greenlee are destined for love. How do we know that? Because he said those sweet nothings every woman longs to hear, “you are a raving bitch.” Ahhh, young love.
Let’s see what’s ahead.
Erica stomps her foot, tosses her head and insists that Michael not cause any trouble between her and Chris.
After all, it’s her job to ruin her relationships. She doesn’t need outsiders to do her dirty work for her.
Michael receives dead flowers. Erica denies sending them.
Could they be some not so subtle hint from one of his enemies? Chris perhaps? Or does PV just have a truly awful florist?
Michael continues to use Swamp Girl, a.k.a Kendall.
I cannot wait for Kendall to unleash her wrath on him when she discovers the truth. Hell hath no fury like a swamp girl scorned. And about Michael. Doesn’t it strike anyone as odd that a man that rich would have a room, not a suite, at the Valley Inn? And one of the smaller rooms, too. Kendall’s room was larger. Heck I think Maria’s room at the Pine Cone is bigger.
J’accuse! Chris accuses Jack and Erica of being more than friends. Jackson accuses Erica of being in love with him.
I wonder what Erica’s response will be to Chris, ”Why, yes, we are more than friends, we are best friends, silly!” And her reply to Jackson, “You and I are just friends. Best friends, silly!” Erica will probably admit that she does love Jack. Although how rewarding will that admission be for Jack since he practically had to bludgeon it out of her?
Speaking of bludgeoning
Reggie rescues Joni from a mugger.
Just when I was starting to like Reggie, he goes and does this. Will this save lead to love? How long before Reggie call Joni a “raving bitch” ? Not long I imagine.
Love just does not run smoothly in PV:
Word of Adam’s and Liza’s divorce spreads like wildfire through PV.
Frankly, I don’t know how the citizens of PV can get out of bed in the morning. Last week there was the press release about Erica ending her engagement to Chris. And now this ? How much can people take?
Liza and Tad decide to stay just friends.
Not just friends. They are best friends silly.
Even the newest lovebirds have problems:
During the O-chem midterm, Maggie lets Henry copy her answers. Later, Henry rebuffs Maggie’s attempted kiss.
Wait a darn minute, here, Henry. Maggie is good enough to cheat off of, but not good enough to kiss? Or is this some male pride thing? Whatever. This incident is not going to endear Maggie to Alma, that’s for sure.
And from the “is it over before it begins?” department:
Carlos overhears Greens saying she has no feelings for him.
That raving bitch. Of course, this misunderstanding is further proof they are meant for each other.
After encountering Carlos at the gym, Liza encourages Greens to go after him
Liza realizes what a good man Carlos is when he tells her, “I heard about the divorce. It’s all the guys are talking about in the shower room. We agree it is the best thing you can do. For Colby’s sake.” During her conversation with Greens, Liza reminisces about when she used to be PV’s “raving bitch.”
Greenlee is set for one heck of a week:
Mary shows up and her behavior puzzles Greenlee.
Why? Because Mary is not acting like a raving bitch? I just had a weird thought. What if Mary is sending the emails, in some warped attempt to be a good mom? Nah, that would take too much effort. It will be grand to see Mary again. Although it would be so much better if Roger (sigh) was with her.
Other stuff happens,too:
Anna and David continue to agonize over Leora. Janelle tries to get David to rethink his position.
Didn’t we see this scene a couple of weeks ago? Oh well, I am not going to quibble about seeing good actors. I wish we would see more of Janelle. Wonder what she is going to think of Erica as Reggie’s step foster mom?
Maddie gets sick. Maureen and Edmund tend to their daughter. Mia and Aiden stand by.
This was bound to happen. Don’t think it will change anything between Maureen and Edmund, though. That’s not likely to happen til May sweeps.
Those AMC actors:
As noted above, Anna Stuart returns as Greenlee’s mom Mary Smythe.
And that’s a good thing. Mary is not a good mother but she is an interesting character.
And the actress who plays Joni, Amanda Seyfried, is now on contract.
Trying to be optimistic here, maybe her scenes with Reggie will be a joy to behold. Look, I said, “trying”, not “believing.”
And here is to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, March 16th, 2003
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4:16 pm
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I usually start this column with a cynical comment or twelve about the previous week’s episodes. I cannot bring myself to start off that way this week. Why? Because Aunt Grace died. Lynne Thigpen was a wonderful actress whose career covered TV, movies and theater. Children loved her on Where In the World is Carmen San Diego? Theatergoers loved her and were often surprised to discover she was a “soap” actress. She was in so many movies it was hard to keep track.
To me she was always Grace Keefer. Whether chiding Noah, working at Brooke English House, breaking our hearts when she kidnapped Derrick’s and Mimi’s baby or dressing up for the “Bippity Boppity Boop” silliness of Julia’s and Noah’s wedding, Ms. Thigpen brought warmth, humanity and credibility to every scene she was in. I will miss her.
Now on to what’s coming up in Pine Valley this week:
>Mia accepts Edmund’s invitation to go riding.
“Hey, baby, want to come back to my place and check out my stallion?” Two broken hearts getting together. Edmund’s wife cannot remember him. Mia’s fiancé forgot he was engaged. Works for me. Let’s see now, Maddie and Sam have an Angel Mommy and a Brooke Mommy. What shall they call Mia? All together now. Why they will call her “Mama Mia”, of course!
Theirs might be the only smooth running relationship in PV.
Adam and Liza realize decisions need to be made about their marriage.
Gee, kids, do we think they could finally decide to end this moribund relationship? Seems like a good decision to me, especially with Adam going away for awhile. I cannot wait for Liza, the Princess of Spin, to announce that she kissed Tad “for Colby’s sake.” That would make about as much sense as her recent claims that she has been Adam’s pawn and victim. I am tired of seeing him get beaten up by both his wife and their marriage counselor. It’s time for this to end, “for Adam’s sake.”
As David becomes more obsessed with Leora, Anna turns to Jack for comfort.
I hope Jack does not rag too much on David. After all, Jack is fairly familiar with obsession himself. Oops, sorry. He loves Erica, he is not obsessed with her. My mistake. Erica walking in on Jack comforting Anna could turn things around. Erica would be all over Jack in a heartbeat. After all, Ms. Kane does not like anyone messing with her belongings.
Jack continues his obsession with, oops again, I mean quest for the truth about Chris. Once again Jack insists that Erica loves him.
Well, with MoMo and Lou on the case it is only a matter of time before the truth about Chris is uncovered. It better happen quickly, because MoMo/Lou moments are Maalox moments in this household. Why doesn’t Jack just place Erica on the stand, put her under oath and cross-exam her about her true feelings? Oh wait, I forgot, that won’t work. Erica has no compunction about lying under oath.
She may have to face one truth about herself
Erica realizes that her mothering skills leave a bit to be desired.
Finally, the scales fall from her eyes. I hope this has to do with both her daughters and not just Binks. For a narcissist she is not half-bad as a mother, but those “rapist’s eyes” comments have got to stop.
Self-realization is always rough on Erica. Still Chris will have an even rougher week than she will.
Chris sees Erica with Michael. Kendall does her best to convince Chris that Erica and Michael are “all business.” The pieces come together and it dawns on Chris that Erica did the hokey-pokey with Jackson.
Poor Chris. I wonder which will be more difficult for him to process, Erica’s or Jackson’s betrayal? After all, he and Jackson had that macho-bonding- “wimmins can’t live with them sex is not as much fun without them” -thing going on. Will Chris be so blinded by this betrayal that he won’t see the danger coming from the Cambias camp?
Other stuff happens too:
Greenlee thinks she knows who her secret spammer is.
Want to bet she is wrong? As for me, I would just like to know why sometimes Carlos has an accent and sometimes he doesn’t.
Stuart gives Adam the 411 about nunuJr.
He is gone. He is not being recast. David Canary is being backburnered in a big way. Jennfier Bassey is off contract. Even Stuart can figure out this is not good. Not good at all.
Henry and Maggie discuss their relationship.
Please let them do it without subtitles. This storyline is hard enough to sit through, let alone read through.
Lena kisses Boyd.
Everytime I see her name, I think of that old blues song, Bald Headed Lena. Which once Erica, Kendall, Binks and Boyd discover what she has been up to and the hair pulling begins, just might fit her perfectly.
Those AMC actors:
Lee Merriweather is back as Ruth Martin on March 20th.
I hope Jake’s name comes up while his mom is around. Does it seem odd to anyone else that no one, save Mia, has really noticed his abrupt departure?
Eve Plumb, former Jan Brady from the Brady Bunch, appears as a tough interviewer on April 7th.
I think the interviewee will be Erica. Anyone besides me think that at some point during the interview she will say, “Erica, Erica, Erica”?
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, March 9th, 2003
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6:06 pm
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I don’t know if it is accurate to say that industrial espionage makes for strange bedfellows but in Michael’s case it certainly makes for a lot of them. What a trouper he is, taking a few for the Cambias team. Pressuring Kendall into sex made their scenes a bit smarmy. It was refreshing to have the counterpoint of Tad’s and Liza’s kiss. And even Jamie’s and Laurie’s.
Will there be any repercussions from these actions this coming week? Will Kendall keep her clothes on? Will Simone get Carlos to take his off?
Let’s see
Liza decides to confess all to Adam
Hmmm, I wonder what “all” means. The kiss with Tad? Or the fact that since the bondage exercise she has set up a website as “Liza, the dominatrix who puts the word “Mistress” back in WebMistress.” Confession may be good for the soul, but I think working out what that kiss means before confessing would be better for the Chandler marriage.
Chris stops Erica’s confession about Jack in its tracks by telling her how much he trusts her.
Yep, that would do it. Last week Chris told Jackson how much he trusted him. Then this week Chris tells Erica he trusts her. Just one question: how did Chris, who can clearly not read people, survive as an FBI agent? Of course maybe that inability is why he will not be surviving for much longer.
And talk about going from being dumb to being dumber
Chris listens to Jack’s advice about how to deal with Erica.
Why do I think Jack’s advice will not involve evenings full of romance and candlelight? And if Chris has not figured out to deal with Erica by now, what are the odds he ever will?
Things are going to get even worse for Chris
Maureen insists on helping Aiden with the Stamp investigation.
Oh boy, poor Chris. His goose is cooked. With Maureen and Aiden on the case he doesn’t stand a chance! First we have Maureen’s keen investigative mind. Maureen who for five years did not even go to the library to do a little research on whom she may have killed. And then there are Aiden’s cracker jack skills which were so evident during the Bahamian escapade. And I truly mean cracker jack, since any credentials he may have must have come from a box of Cracker Jacks. Be afraid Chris, be very afraid.
And meanwhile back at the Enfusion wars
Michael tells Lena he will dump Kendall as soon as he gets what he wants
I thought he got what he wanted last week, although who could blame him for wanting more? What makes Lena think that Michael won’t also dump her once he has achieved his mysterious goal? If Michael’s body washes up on that tropical island just off the Pine Valley coast, my money is on Lena as the killer.
Boyd is worried that Lena may hurt Bianca.
Well, he should be worried. Bianca is a lesbian on an ABC soap and as such is never allowed to have a happy satisfying love life.
Simone asks Carlos out on a date.
Simone has done everything but lay naked in front of Carlos saying, “take me take me.” Why does she think asking him on a date will work? But then with all that panting Simone has been doing lately I am sure her brain is oxygen deprived.
Greens discovers that “Sidney” is really “Sydney” and is a bit shocked.
It would be interesting if it did turn out that a woman was sending those romantic emails. But it will be OK if it turns out Sydney is merely letting Carlos use her Llanet Mail account.
And other stuff happens, too
NunuJR is missing. Adam goes off to search for him.
This is one of those good news/bad news things. I am doing a happy dance because nunuJR is gone. I am pounding my head on the desk because David Canary is gone, too. I know it is just for a couple of months, but that doesn’t mean I have to handle his absence well does it?
Anna is worried because David is obsessing over Leora.
A sick child makes for a very sad story. A sick child can also make for a very compelling adult story. A compelling adult story played by compelling actors. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Although I would think that Leora’s aunt Alex, a world class doctor, would pay a visit.
Simone and Joni plan a break-in.
This one really has me puzzled. Break-in to where? How come Joni’s parents are suddenly letting her have all this freedom? Finally, let me see if I have this right, Joni wouldn’t help Greens track down her cybermailer because it would be “wrong”, but will join Simone on a break-in? I guess it makes sense. Joni has her own 11th Commandment, “Thou Shalt Be A Hypocrite.”
And now the Case of the Missing Spoiler
I have searched everywhere for a spoiler I know must be out there, but has been misplaced or mis-filed or something. That spoiler would be
Joe has to deal with the hospital board about Jake’s disappearance.
If anyone finds this missing spoiler would you please email me right away?
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, March 2nd, 2003
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5:54 pm
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The votes are in. Thank you to everyone who voted. I never would have guessed that so many people had opinions on Chris Stamp’s underwear. And the winner is: BRIEFS! 75% of the votes were for briefs, the rest for boxers, with one for boxerbriefs and a few for “commando.” I have a hard time imagining Erica allowing that in her penthouse!
What do I think about Chris’ undergarments? I think when he is Erica’s lawyer he wears boxers. When he is Agent Stamp he wears briefs. And framed on his bedroom wall is a pair of tie dyed bikinis from his days as a Deadhead.
Let’s see what laundry, dirty or otherwise, will be hanging out on AMC this coming week:
Jackson backs Reggie into a corner, causing Trey to fall into his trap.
At first read, I thought it said, “causing Trey to fall into his lap.” My first reaction: Bianca cannot have a gay sex life, but Jack and Trey can? Alas, I think it means that flowers have not softened Erica’s heart so now Jackson will be handing her an arsonist tied with a bow.
Which could explain why
Erica takes Jack’s call, but not Chris’. This causes Chris to Stamp off.
Hey, cut me some slack on the puns. With the Jack Scalia news (see end of this column) I have to hurry and get in as many Chris Stamp puns as I can. I think it is rather sweet how it is taking so long for Chris to see what is really going on with Jack and Erica. A little dumb perhaps, but sweet nonetheless.
Jack is determined to find something out about Chris that will cause Erica to dump him.
Well, Jack, if the framed bikinis on the wall did not do it, I am not sure what will. Is it too much to hope that it turns out Chris really was Proteus? It would make more sense than Vanessa being Proteus. (I really have got to give up on the hope that someday the Proteus story will make sense.)
Opal is shocked to learn that Erica bedded Jack.
Not as shocked as Chris will be. Wouldn’t it be nice if they were shocked together? Opal could probably get Chris to model his tie dyed bikinis for her.
Opal is not alone. There are a lot of shocked people in PV this week:
Liza is shocked to discover she has feelings for Tad. She is even more shocked to find herself kissing him.
Are any of us shocked? I don’t think so. And before T&D fans go getting all upset, consider this: could there be a better harbinger of Dixie returning than a Tad and Liza reunion? (Of course it won’t be Cady McLain in the role, she is committed to ATWT for another year.)
The shocks continue for Liza when her therapist asks her why she is with Adam when she has such strong feelings for Tad.
A fair question. Of course I don’t think Adam would think it was a fair question. I think bodies may stray, especially if they are drunk, in a satisfying marriage, but I don’t think hearts do. This is probably what Lysistrata is trying to get Liza to face.
Kendall is shocked to find both Michael and Palmer issuing her ultimatums.
I think Michael’s probably involves taking her clothes off. I don’t think Palmer’s will. I suspect his may have something to do with her relationship with Erica. That has been one of his goals, getting those two to have at least a civil, if not loving, relationship.
Michael thinks he is in control of “the situation.”
It’s now obvious he, in cahoots with Lena, is working both Kendall and Erica. It’s also obvious Michael is delusional if he thinks he can control those two.
Leora’s medical situation is not good. Anna and David disagree what to do about it.
I like Anna and David. I look forward to Anna’s rebuttal when David pulls the “But I am a doctor” card. Maybe she trumps it with the “I am her mother” card. These two are always interesting to watch.
Jamie wants his situation with Laurie to change from being friends to being “more.”
I hope Laurie has the good sense to take Jamie up on his offer. He’s sweet, he’s smart, he can act. What’s not to love?
Those AMC actors:
Jennifer Bassey’s status has been changed from “ on contract” to recurring.
True, Marion has not been on that much lately, but this still distresses me. It seems that Liza will need her mother more now than ever. And Mia certainly will need her surrogate mother to get through her latest mess. I hope we get at least one scene with these three at Hal’s, discussing men.
Although there has been no “official” word from ABC it is very likely Jack Scalia will not be in Pine Valley much longer.
ABC soaps are under a lot of pressure to cut costs and I think the above cast changes speak to that. That said, I think TPTB were so excited to have Jack Scalia on board that they never really knew what to do with him. He was an FBI agent but they never treated that seriously. Then he was Erica’s lawyer. Then her contractor. And until recently, her lap dog. The latter was never clearer than when he coddled Erica’s little girl feelings rather than be in on the end of Proteus.
I wish him much luck and better-defined roles in the future!
Have you noticed how many people associated with the Proteus story are gone or going? Vanessa, Leo, Trey , Chris. That storyline was perhaps the most damaging in AMC history.
Yet like Michael I remain delusional. Delusional because I keep believing there are better days ahead.
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
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5:40 pm
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Two weeks ago AMC was hoary when David stepped in to perform emergency surgery on his own unborn child. This past week Simone was arrested for being whore-y. What will happen this week? Hopefully nothing bore-y. Perhaps we will even find out who is really Michael’s intended quarry!
Medication does not stop Anna’s contractions. Anna and David’s daughter is born prematurely, causing much parental concern.
The baby’s poor health begins a long story arc for David and Anna. I am just happy that a show called All My Children finally had a pregnancy go all the way to an actual birth. Thank goodness Anna avoided the Chandler mansion for much of her pregnancy.
The baby’s birth is not the only event in PV this week, because it’s party time at Fusion!
The kegger, oops, business soirée, is a big hit. The Fusion babes realize they could actually be a success. They also realize that to guarantee that success, they need to start behaving in a more professional manner.
First thing they need to do is inform Simone that the profession they are in is the cosmetics industry. She needs to stop behaving like she is practicing the oldest profession in the world.
Greens ask Chris for help in identifying the source of the romantic spam she has been receiving.</o>
OK, is there anyone here who does not think that Carlos’ written English is much more fluent than his spoken English? I would prefer to see that computer whiz, Philomena Lacey, on the case. Phil is much more interesting than Laurie or Joni. Or Chris, for that matter.
Boyd shows up for Kendall’s big night. He tries to use Michael’s absence to his advantage. Michael, that spoilsport, arrives. Kendall discovers Michael has had more than one meeting with Erica.
Oh Boyd, oh Boyd, oh Boyd. Nice guys seldom finish first in Pine Valley. Although if you wait long enough, you can pick up the pieces of the shattered Kendall Michael will probably leave behind.
Simone catches Allison and Jake having sex in the Fusion storeroom during the party.
And boy, is she angry. Not because Jake is being unfaithful to Mia, but because Simone had planned on using the storeroom for sex herself. That is after she hit Carlos over the head and dragged him in there.
Mia realizes Jake has cheated on her, more than once, with Allison.
Well, Mia, you did have the audacity to take your job seriously for what, 3 weeks? Did you expect Jake to have infinite patience? It’s a good thing Jake found out before the wedding that you just are not Martin-material.
Jake leaves town, but not before leaving Tad a note explaining all.
It was one thing when Jake, then a resident, blew town in a minute. This Jake is the CHIEF OF STAFF at PVH. And he leaves town in the same way and for the same reason, because his personal life is a mess? Please allow me to quote my beloved Palmer Cortlandt, when he was talking about Ryan, “he behaved like a boy, not a man.” Hopefully, we will see Joe re-instated as COS. Until next year, when Maggie steps into the position.
In other parts of town
Reggie hits Trey over head to keep him from seeing his loft being robbed. Reggie is later arrested.
Reggie was clearly panicked. And unlike his foster parent, he doesn’t have anything to use as leverage in avoiding prosecution. Wouldn’t it be interesting if Reggie’s problems lead Trey to the conclusion that he should serve time for arson, fraud, attempted murder, etc. It would be a nice twist if Trey’s last scene was on the bus to prison.
From the Soap Opera Digest interview Brian Frons:
Joni becomes Maddie’s and Sam’s nanny.
Please, please tell me this will not turn into Kelsey/Edmund redux. Will Isabella and Joni argue or bond over their religious views? Will there now be two harpies out to make Maureen feel guilty? Makes me kind of sad that the Turret of Death burned down.
Jack reaches the decision that Chris’ dirty laundry needs to be exposed.
What do you think, boxers or briefs?
Those AMC actors:
Lesley Lyles joins as Dr. Tracy, a neonatal surgeon. The role is recurring.
Jake (J. Eddie Peck) leaves town this week. Trey(Sam Page) leaves on March 7. Currently, there are no plans to recast either role.
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
And I was serious about that question. Chris: boxers or briefs? Email me and the results will be printed in next week’s column.
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, February 16th, 2003
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6:41 pm
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Waxing nostalgic here. Remember when the ABC Soaps were referred to as “Love in the Afternoon”? Ahhh, those were the days. This past week the promo for AMC should have been “Violence in the Afternoon.” Erica slapping Jack. Opal punching Erica. Lysistrata throwing water in Greenlee’s face. Julian tying a thong clad Maureen to a bomb, thus combining both softcore bondage and violence. Kendall slapping Michael. Julian shooting Kingman. Not to mention my increasing urge to smack Simone. Where, I implore you, where is the love?
Let’s see if there is some love coming up in PV anytime soon.
Once again Aiden tells Maureen the sad story of Fiona. Maureen and Aiden then have sex.
Nothing like the story of being framed for a lover’s murder as foreplay. Hey, if it works for Aiden more power to him. I will be ff’d the story though. I have heard it once and I really don’t need to hear it again. I will pay attention to the sex scenes though. Just in case my fondest wishes come true and Maureen starts moaning, “Dimitri, oh Dimitri.”
The afterglow does not last long when
The lovers watch as Julian shoots Morgan. Aiden prevails and shoots Julian.
And I am going to be shooting someone, maybe even myself,if they do not wrap this pointless story up and soon. Have there ever been more boring bad people than Morgan and Julian? This would have been much more interesting had Billy Clyde Tuggle been involved somehow. Now there was an interesting villian. Billy Clyde knew how to be truly frightening and funny at the same time. Morgan and Julian were, well, neither.
Back in the Valley
Edmund realizes Maria was right about Aiden when Anna tells him her nephew was framed. Anna doesn’t believe Edmund when he says he is over Maria.
Will Edmund apologize to Maria? Will Maureen tell Edmund every detail about her island adventure? More importantly, is Maureen using birth control? Or will Maria get her memory back just as she discovers she is pregnant with Aiden’s child?
Speaking of pregnancies
Anna and David have a lovely Valentine’s Day, but then Anna fears she is going into premature labor.
Could Anna just have a week without a crisis please?
The mystery Valentine causes Greens to think that Leo is alive somewhere. Kendall sets her straight.
I can understand why Greens would think Leo could be alive. This is PV after all, where no one is really ever dead. That just makes grieving all the more complicated. But Greenlee should accept the fact that Leo will not return until she falls in love again and is walking down the aisle towards her second husband.
Donald Steele sets Kendall straight about Michael.
I am doing a happy dance here. Donald’s appearances always perk me right up.
Henry sets Maggie straight about his lack of prejudice towards non-Asians. Maggie continues to prove she is straight by returning Henry’s kiss.
Maybe if there was even 1/3 the chemistry between Henry and Maggie that there is between Maggie and Bianca, I could find this storyline interesting. But there isn’t, so I don’t.
JR is all over Adam about his offer to send Laurie to Harvard.
I am thinking JR should be going to military school. I know we are supposed to think he is a tortured young man, but let’s face it he is spoiled brat. A spoiled brat who cannot see what a great opporutnity this would be for Laurie.
Joni sees her two friends kiss.
I am guessing it is Jamie and Laurie. Hey, I would be kissing someone else, too, if my boyfriend messed with my chance for a free Harvard ride.
A policeman thinks Simone is a hooker when she invites hm to the Fusion party.
Well,maybe if she had not dropped to her knees while issuing the invitation, he wouldn’t have been so confused. Someone needs to hose this girl down.
Kenny invites Simone to dinner.
Kenny. Kenny. Anyone have a clue who Kenny is? I am pretty sure it was the lawyer who got Simone out of her last police run-in. But I could be wrong, because ABC has refused to take my advice to have new characters wear nametags.
Reggie bops Trey on the head to keep him from seeing Luis.
I am not even going to try and guess who Luis is. But I hope this is not some excuse to get rid of Reggie. I kinda like him. He has personality and can hold his own in a scene. Which is more than can be said for many other new residents of PV.
I would love to hear your take on the Bahamian adventure!
Here’s to another week in the Valley.
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Monday, February 10th, 2003
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9:31 am
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There is a paucity of AMC spoilers for the upcoming week. I think there are two reasons for that. One, Tuesday’s episode will be entirely devoted to Fan Fantasy. Two, undoubtedly there will be no paucity of scenes of AMC’s new “it” couple, Aiden and Maria, frolicking half-naked in the Bahamian surf. ( I know there are many of you who loath A&M, so feel free to replace “it” with “ick” in the preceding sentence. )
And if the rest of you would stop fantasizing about frolicking with a half-naked Aiden, or a half-naked Maria for that matter, we can move on to what else will be happening on AMC:
David steps in and saves day, along with his unborn child’s life.
This one of soap’s hoariest conventions, the brilliant/arrogant doctor having to use his skills to save a loved one. Will we have scenes of David staring at his hands as he picks up the scalpel? Will there be some crisis during surgery, making it appear that all is lost? Probably. And if these scenes were being played by a lesser actor, I would be rolling my eyes and fast-forwarding. But Vincent Irizarry makes David compelling, hoary material or not.
Maggie tears herself away from her family’s crisis long enough to kiss Henry.
I am working on finding this pairing interesting, really I am. But I must admit that pursuit is about as much fun as organic chemistry homework.
Chris shares the news that Aiden was framed with Jack.
Cannot wait til Chris finds out that news is not all he and Jack have been sharing lately.
Chris starts to play a bigger role in the war between Enchantment and Fusion. In years to come, this war will be called the Enfusion Wars by the residents of PV.
OK, so the last part was a joke. Maybe. But it makes as much sense as Chris being involved. What does he do, promise Erica he will exfoliate Fusion from the face of the earth? Unless, of course, TPTB follow through on that little clue they dropped weeks (months?) ago, when Chris thought he recognized Lena.
Turns out Michael and Erica are connected.
They are both out to screw Kendall, albeit in different ways? Will this give Kendall even more reason to hate Mommie Dearest? Will Boyd be there to pick up pieces? Will Michael tell Erica she is the most enchanting, beautiful, smart, blah-blah-blah woman he has ever met?
Erica cannot get Jackson off of her mind.
I have had that problem for years. A few deep breaths and a cold shower helps.
Greenlee receives email from a stranger.
Well, I do,too. I call it SPAM. Is this karmic email payback for Greens? Remember when she was running that little email scam on Ryan? (Let’s pause here while we remember Ryan. Sigh.)
Greens meets again with Lysistrata, then decides to party on at Fusion!
Is Lysistrata a party planner now? How does Fusion have money for a party when they don’t have money to set up manufacturing? Will Erica be a party pooper? Why do I keep asking these ridiculous questions?
Meanwhile in the Bahamas
Julian threatens a half-naked Maria with a gun.
Prompting Maria to inquire, “Is that a gun in your speedos or are you just happy to see me?”
Kingman, Aiden’s former partner, helps Aiden and Maria.
This all very fascinating. I only have one question about this Bahamian adventure: do Aiden and Maria play strip chess?
Aiden’s and Maria’s romance heats up.
No, really? I am shocked, just totally shocked. I did not see this one coming at all. Removing my tongue from my cheek, we move on to
Those AMC actors:
Andrew Riddings has been let go as JR. There are no plans to recast.
A perfect example of getting good news with bad news. First, they decide not to recast Jake. Now they are not recasting JR, who is a Chandler, a Cortlandt and part of the Martin clan. A bit depressing, don’t you think?
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Monday, February 3rd, 2003
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1:42 am
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Well, if any of us needed any proof that it is Maureen and not Maria, we got it on Friday when she called Edmund an SOB. Santa Maria may have bedded her husband’s brother, but her sins did not extend to using foul language. My only regret was that Isabella did not hear her. What a great scene that would have been: Isabella washing Maureen’s mouth out with soap.
I confess to using a lot of bad language when watching AMC these days. Of course in keeping with its current tone, I use British slang. As in “what the bloody ‘ell have they done to my show?”
Let’s see what they are going to do to it this week:
Erica dances with an old partner when she does the horizontal mambo with Jack.
Those Friday scenes were some of Erica’s best in recent memory. She was almost, dare I say it? Adult. Almost adult. I find her much more interesting that way. It will be interesting to see how Chris reacts to her latest liaison. When she says, “But Jack’s daughter was sick” will he take it better than Jackson did when she said, “but I was saying goodbye to Mike!” Clearly Erica does her best talking with her body.
Erica’s adult behavior does not last long when
Erica decides to say unkind things about Fusion to the folks at Laceys. Bianca steps in and stops her.
Of course Binky steps in. Someone in this storyline needs to act like an adult. And it seems like the women at Fusion are doing a fine job of shooting themselves in the foot without Erica’s help.
It’s a rough week for Erica
Boyd’s deep feelings for Kendall startle Erica.
I guess Boyd did not get the memo that stated all the boys in town are supposed to pine after Erica and only Erica. Erica and Kendall interested in the same man could be a great story. And Kendall won. Or if Erica and any other PV woman were interested the same man and the other woman won. Watching Erica try to compute that development would be delicious indeed.
Michael shows up to see Kendall and meets Erica.
Maybe I will get my wish after all. Although a man who lies about his last name does not seem like the best catch in town.
It is not” all Erica all the time” this week, amnesia chick has things going on to
Maureen tells Aiden about Edmund’s “special drink.” They run off to the Bahamas together, where Aiden plans to kill Julian.
Burglary, murder, espionage, chess. Aiden is just a renaissance kind of guy. No wonder Maureen finds him more attractive than Edmund. I hope he does not kill Julian though. Julian has brought such dimension, humor and pathos to AMC. (Does anyone really give a flying fig about this Julian guy or why Aiden wants to kill him? If you do, please let me know.)
Julian disguises himself as Inspector Little so he can question Morgan about Aiden.
At first I thought, “bloody ‘ell, won’t Morgan recognize her lover, no matter how great the disguise?” Then I realized that Morgan must have been caught by Edmund’s crack (addicted) security force and is cooling her jets in the PV jail. And I bet the poor dear has yet to get herself “a pint and some crisps.”
Other stuff happens, too:
The Swiss doctor has a stroke before he can perform the surgery on Anna and David’s baby. Will David be able to use his skills to save his unborn child?
February. Sweeps. Yup, my money is on Dr. Dave. Since she did not have surgery, I hope Anna at least got some frequent flyer miles out of her trip.
Reggie sketches out his future for Trey.
I wonder if he mentions that it is going to be Trey-less?
Those AMC actors
Maximillan Alexander joins the cast as Carlos, a Fusion employee.
Yes, this is the same Carlos mentioned a few columns ago, but then the actor’s last name was Alejandro. Oh yeah, and TPTB say he is “hot.” No mention of his acting skills.
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, January 26th, 2003
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4:43 pm
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For a moment this week it seemed my VCR had messed up. I thought my tape had recorded some Eastenders chess special on BBCAmerica. Confused, I persevered. Turns it was AMC after all. Aiden and the British-chick-who-must-have-a-name-but-darned-if-I-care-what-it-is were playing chess. Riveting stuff, truly riveting.
Crickey. Let’s hope what’s ahead is a bit better, eh love?
Lysistrata helps Liza get Adam right where she wants him.
Between a rock and a hard place?
Adam cannot come to the phone right now; Liza has him all tied up.
Yup, nothing like a little bondage to bring an estranged couple closer. Although I bet Liza looks great in black leather. And keep in mind, what’s a little S&M when it’s all for Colby’s sake?
Edmund remains determined to get his way.
Just as TPTB seemed to be determined to have viewers not want Eddie and Maria to reunite. Subtlety is in short supply at AMC these days.
Edmund makes a shocking announcement to Maria.
Does he confess that he spiked her drink? Does this send her running to Aiden? Are sweeps starting next week?
Aiden fears Maria is still in danger.
Valid fear, I think. The hitchick is after her. Edmund is drugging her. If I were Maria, the siren song of the Southwest would be calling me home.
Instead Maria winds up in the Bahamas. AMC has been there taping key scenes in the Aiden/Maria/Edmund triangle.
I think they went to the wrong place. Only in the Bermuda Triangle could any of this make sense. Will Maria choose Edmund or Aiden? More importantly, will her amnesia make her forget to get a bikini wax before donning her swimsuit?
Meanwhile, back in Pine Valley
Kendall and Greenlee have big problems at Fusion.
You mean problems besides being a cosmetics company with no real cosmetics to sell? The growing and grudging friendship between these two is one of the few things I am enjoying these days, so bring it on!
That’s it for spoilers. They hold all the good stuff back for sweeps. At least, I hope it’s good stuff they are holding back.
Those AMC actors:
Sam Page is out as Trey. In fact, Trey is out, too. No plans for a recast.
Although no fan of either the actor or the character, this surprised me a bit. Trey is the one family member who actually likes Kendall. And where does this leave the whole Reggie/Janelle/clinic story?
Tad (Michael E Knight) crosses over to OLTL for a fan fantasy scene with Lindsay(Catherine Hickland).</b>
Given her tentative status at OLTL, could TPTB be using this as an opportunity to see if this married in real life couple sizzles or fizzles onscreen together?
Aiden gets a friend and a protector named Kingman, who shows up on February 10th. Cyrus Farmer plays the role.
I am beginning to think AMC does not stand for All My Children. Instead it stands for Aiden’s Many Capers.
And fans in Panama City, Florida will be getting a treat. That is the first stop on Fusion’s search for the Sexiest Man in America.
It is always a treat when a soap comes to your town. I just am not convinced this story is going to be a treat for viewers. And besides haven’t TPTB already decided that Aiden is the sexiest man in America? After all, he does possess Aiden’s Massive Chest. (Yes, I was thinking something a bit lower that also starts with a “C”, but, geesh, my mother reads this column.)
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
PS Thanks to the folks who post comments at the end of my columns. In theory, I should be able to email you just by clicking on your name. In practice that seldom works. If you would like to hear back from me, just email me at the above address.
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| Sunday, January 19th, 2003
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3:45 pm
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Color me confused. If that was Maureen in the condo with Aiden, promising to help him no matter what, then was that Maria back at Wildwind telling Edmund it was great to be home? And that she only feels safe with him? Does she feel that way because Aiden never cares about her enough to lock her in her room?
And it must have been David in an Edmund mask pouring an untested unapproved drug into Maria’s drink. Using illegal drugs to win the love of a woman is something dastardly David would do, not Pulitzer winning Edmund.
And the last time we saw Reggie wasn’t he about 5 years older and a few inches taller?
My head hurts.
Let’s see if the week ahead will ease my pain:
Morgan warns Aiden that Julian wants to kill him for doing the horizontal mambo with Fiona.
I barely know, and hardly care, who Aiden is. Who is Morgan? Who is Julian? Is it safe to assume that Fiona was the dead body in Aiden’s bed? And why should I care about any of these people?
I need some more aspirin.
Aiden’s time in Afghanistan is what has been causing him so many problems.
Ahh, will this explain his speech problems? Something horrific happened damaging his mouth and tongue? But surely his military insurance would have covered speech therapy. OH, maybe it reveals something about Morgan, Julian and Fiona. I don’t care. I really don’t.
I do wonder if some Afghani food for dinner would help my headache, though.
Michael impresses Kendal and then later sends her flowers.
Michael? Who’s Michael? OK, I did mention him as a new character in the spoilers a few weeks ago. And I hope he is a decent guy. Someone who is not mourning a dead wife, like Ryan was. Or aching for another woman, like Aiden is.
This headache is getting so bad that I think someone should be sending me flowers. Brian Frons perhaps?
Mia stands up to Jake.
Good for her. Although no good can come from that. Jake and Tad pay lip service to wanting “their wimmens” to be independent. And then they go and get all upset when they do.
Maybe I should give Jake some aspirin? Although he finds his own way to ease his pain:
A troubled hurt Jake falls into Allison’s arms.
It must be Allison Perkins from OLTL because I don’t recall anyone in PV named Allison. Of course Allison will be a new character. A new character brought on solely for this stupid plot point. And what is Jake doing bedding another woman? It’s not like he and Mia are on a break or anything.
A cynic with a headache should not have to remember all these new names.
Henry avoids Maggie’s questions about his personal life.
In real life, my first instinct would be that Henry is avoiding these questions because he is either married or gay. That’s not the case though. It’s just a case of mean soap parent.
Henry’s mother does not approve of Maggie.
Well, I guess TPTB see this as a way to save money. Instead of having to write new lines, they can just give her Adam’s and Doug’s old scripts.
Sigh. Wouldn’t it be more fun if Henry’s mom wanted him to have a social life and he rebelled against that? Wouldn’t anything be more fun than seeing the same story (and lines) played out with Henry and Maggie that we are seeing with nunuJR/Laurie and Jamie/Joni?
Maybe while they are lab partners, Maggie and Henry will find a cure for this headache.
Edmund really believes he is making progress with Maria.
Yes, Eddie and thousands of people buy lottery tickets every week but that does not mean they are going to win.
I am out of aspirin. Maybe I will get a lottery ticket while I am at the store.
And this next spoiler, from Soap Opera Digest, makes me think I should be buying some vodka to go along with the aspirin:
“Though David Canary’s contract status is not in question, he will be a scarce onscreen presence in the next few months, an absence that a show rep describes as storyline dictated, not a hiatus.”
First of all, what idiot at AMC thinks this is any kind of good idea? With so many bad or mediocre actors on screen right now, AMC needs David Canary’s talent to carry the nunuJr/Laurie plot. And Liza and Adam are finally getting their spark back. And no David Canary does not just mean no Adam, it means no Stuart, too. What about Marion?
And you know, you would think they would keep Adam onscreen “for Colby’s sake.”
I get nervous whenever a show says “contract status not in question.” And being nervous is not helping this headache.
Those AMC actors:
The search for a newnunuJR continues.
And without the promise of the Adam/JR dynamic, do I care? I do not.
TPTB are looking for an actress to play Henry’s mother.
Maybe their time would be better spent looking for a reason to keep David Canary front and center.
For the first time in a long time, I am not looking forward to the coming week on AMC.
I would love to hear your thoughts on recent developments in our favorite town, Pine Valley.
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, January 12th, 2003
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7:51 pm
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It was rather a claustrophobic week on AMC. Hector, oops I mean Edmund, locked Maria in her room, Aidan was stuck in the condo, and Adam was trapped in scenes with nunuJR.
Let’s hope there’s a little more breathing room in the week ahead:
Aidan is rescued by Ethel and Lucy. Darn, I mean Kendall and Maria.
The whole story about Aidan’s past is tiresome, but I like a male character being rescued by women. Sometimes life does work that way. And since Aiden’s (the actor, not the character) best work is with Maria and Kendall, this can only be a good thing.
Aiden gets himself into another dangerous situation.
What is next in the “Perils of Aidan?” Does he find himself tied to a railroad track? With an evil Edmund standing over him, twirling a mustache, and saying,” Now you will leave Maria, I mean Maureen, I mean Maria, alone.”
Aidan does not have to worry though, since
Aidan continues to relie on his uber-chicks, Maria and Kendall.
A good move on his part since Maria and Kendall are very resourceful. Kendall maneuvered Isabella beautifully into giving her immediate occupancy of the condo. And what man wouldn’t want a car mechanic that looked like Maria? (Or was that Maureen that changed the tire?)
Meanwhile, back at Wildwind
Edmund grows increasingly desperate to get Maria back. She’s his wife dammit!
How much more desperate can he get? He tried being understanding for three minutes. He has made a deal with the Devil himself, David. He locked Maria in her room. He gave her a romantic dinner in a freezing, smelly stable. Maybe he will call his sister-in-law Alex to see if there is a drug that can make amnesiacs forget they had amnesia?
Edmund is not the only one with problems
Greenlee’s reaction to Trey’s kiss is not exactly positive
Boy, if a man ever was asking for a knee to the groin, it was Trey. And if Greenlee cannot do it, my knee is available
When Greenlee’s depression gets the upper hand, she turns to Lysistrata for help.
It is good to see Greenlee doing the adult thing of realizing she needs help. And there would be no hope for her if Zeke McMillan was the only shrink in town. Thank goodness for Lysistrata.
And very a busy therapist Lysistrata is when
Adam and Liza go back for another session with Lysistrata.
It is too much to hope that she makes them promise to strike the phrase “for Colby’s sake” from their vocabulary?
And other stuff happens, too
Chris puts his foot down with Erica.
I would prefer that Chris was putting one foot in front of the other as he made his way out the penthouse door and headed over to Opal’s. But I imagine he will just point out to Erica that he already has a job, thank you very much. And then she will shake her head. And toss her hair. And say, “oh Chris.” And he will tell her what a woman she is. Of course I won’t see that because as soon as the scene starts I will be outside with Maureen rotating the tires on my car.
Trey gets a new roommate.
Simone? Maggie? Maybe Kendall convinces her brother to let Aiden hide out there. (C’mon admit it. You thought I was going to say “I hope it’s an acting coach” didn’t you?)
And what is going on at PVH?
As reported last week, J Eddie Peck is leaving. We will see the last of him sometime in March.
And PVH loses another doctor. We saw the last of Frank Hubbard (Jason Olive) in December.
No word on whether either role will be recast.
What happens now, will Maggie rush through med school so she can become the Chief of Staff? Although I think Janelle would do a great job in that position.
ABC fuses AMC with reality TV when Fusion goes on the prowl for the 25 sexiest men. Viewers will be asked to send in videotapes of candidates. The top 25 will be revealed during some sweeps month.
The sound you hear is my head pounding on the desk. Call me crazy but I was kind of hoping for some good story telling. Not that we won’t get both good stories and reality TV, but I feel bad for the writers that have to try to do both.
Here’s to another week in the Valley!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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| Sunday, January 5th, 2003
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4:24 pm
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I am back from my wonderful visit to England. While I was not able to find spotted dick in a can, I did spot the town of Little Dicker. I guess that means “the town of tiny bread puddings with currants”. The English are a friendly people with a strange penchant for giving their towns odd names. “Pine Valley “ just sounds so plain after visiting the land of Dorking, Pease Pottage and Limpley Stoke.
Though there is nothing plain going on in PV this coming week:
Desperate to keep Maria away from Aiden, Edmund locks her up.
Eddie, we need to talk. Maria may still technically be your wife. Maureen has made it clear she is her own woman. But neither of them is a juvenile delinquent child who needs to be sent to her room. What’s next, withholding her allowance? Eddie, you need to get some help. Quickly.
Fearing he has lost Maria to Aiden, Edmund turns to Brooke.
And I hope Brooke turns Edmund around and boots his arse out the door. (“Arse” is what they say instead of “ass” in England. Did I mention I was in England for Christmas?)
Kendall is shocked at what she finds at Hayley and Mateo’s condo.
First of all, I am shocked that Kendall even knows where Hayley’s and Mateo’s condo is. My guess is that she finds a bleeding Aiden hiding there since
Kendall joins Maria in helping Aiden.
All I can say is, Eddie better think twice before trying to lock that little spitfire Kendall in her room. Come to think of it, I would kind of like to see him try.
You didn’t think we would have a week without those whacky Haywards did you?
Anna and David worry about their baby.
We couldn’t see this coming could we? I hope this pregnancy goes to term. It would be nice to see someone actually have a baby; after all this is called All My Children not All The Children I Almost Had.
Janelle and David argue.
I am loving Janelle. Loving how she stands up for what she thinks is right. And I love seeing David argue with someone he respects. Not that he would admit that, of course. Please, please let AMC see the wisdom in keeping her around.
And not to be left out, David’s brother has a scene or two:
Trey confesses something to Greenlee, then kisses her.
Does he confess that he is an ass? I anticipate this kiss being more stomach turning than when NuNuJr kissed Kendall. And that was fairly gut heaving.
Speaking of nunuJr (must we?):
Adam tries to stop JR from ruining his life. Liza helps Adam and Doug see what they have in common.
Would they be referring to Adam Capulet and Doug Montague? At least this guarantees having two people who can act in this storyline. Although Juliet, oops I mean Laurie isn’t bad and does quite well in scenes with her father.
Young love is never easy in Pine Valley:
Bianca and Maggie agree to be “just friends.” Later Bianca realizes how difficult that will be for her.
Well of course it will be difficult since TPTB have been teasing the viewers and Bianca with the possibility of pairing her with Maggie. Bianca is not my favorite character but maybe she wouldn’t be quite so bitchy if a relationship did not end in illness or death for her. I am thinking Lena may be a possibility. Although with Binky’s luck, Lena will feign interest as part of some industrial espionage scheme.
And, oh those AMC actors:
J.Eddie Peck has been released from his contract as Jake Martin.
It is not clear exactly what happened here, but he will be gone soon. It is also not clear whether or not Jake will be recast. While over the past several years the character has been Jakeass more often than Jake, the character is still essential to AMC.
William DeVry has been cast as Michael Combias, a wealthy businessman. He first appears January 23. Maximillian Alejandro joins the cast on February 4. His character’s name is Carlos and he will be working at Fusion. Both roles are contract.
And I hope both roles have been thought out by TPTB. That they will not be just two new characters who get thrown onto our screen, only to wander aimlessly for months while someone decides what to do with them. Recent examples of aimless characters include Simone and Frank.
I want to thank Katrina for stepping in at the last minute to do this column while I was away (did I mention I was in England for Christmas?) (Katrina, your thank you package is in the mail.)
I hope everyone had wonderful holidays. I am looking forward to spending 2003 in Pine Valley with all of you!
Kate
Katebrowneos@hotmail.com
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